Having a bad day

Today I had one of those days when everything  seems like a haze….

I t felt like I died again after months of happiness.

The reason for it all is you…like always…it’s you again.

I wish I had never let you in…never forgave you though I wasn’t angry anymore

I wish I never listened to what my mom or auntie told me….that I should let you in

Cuz now im suffering.

You took my sunshine and turn it again into darkness

Slowly creeping in to invoke anger in my happy heart.

I thought I could handle it. I guess I was wrong.

Like the weather outside, my heart is dark, cold and empty once again

And it is all because of you.

I hope it was all worth it for you. To take me for granted and invest more to her than you did to us

How could you show so much in so little time with her

And show so little with the longest time with me?

Does it mean she means more to you that I ever did to you?

Does it mean she’s more worthy of your effort and time?

If that is true…I regret the day I met you

I know most of the time they say we are who we are today because of our past

But all I can recall I got from this was heartache, pain and hatred.

I’ve never given so much to anyone but you I, you asked so much of me

Even if I wasn’t ready to give it to you, you were already taking it and more.

Haven’t I shown you enough?

Haven’t I given enough? Of my love to you?

Now you asked for forgiveness. I tried, but with you coming back to my life

You brought everything with you, the good and the bad. I thought I was ready for it. I guess I was wrong all along.i guess i really couldn’t help but think that the reason your coming back is because it didn’t work out the way you thought it would with her. so not here you are coming back to me.Like a whirlwind you brought chaos to my life once again. Taking every good bit of me with you, leaving nothing but suffering. I thought I had enough good in me to save you. I wanted to save you, you know…like an idiot I still wanted to save you after everthing that you did. But now im running low of my sunshine. I should’ve waited longer. I wasn’t ready. Now the wall that I’ve built to protect myself from this is crumbling again. Now, tell me, who’s going to save me?